Emotional Abuse Coupled with a Lack of Knowledge of Marital Assets: Could This Be You?

It’s not uncommon for a person seeking a divorce to have a history of emotional abuse and a lack of knowledge of the assets of the marriage. Sometimes, the abused spouse has a small allowance to live on and little to no knowledge of the assets, even though it appears they live a “nice” lifestyle. When the abused spouse can stand no more, the fog lifts momentarily, and they muster up all of the courage they have – which is no small feat – only to realize they have little to no money to seek a divorce. Once again, they feel stupid, inadequate and stumped as to how to move forward. At this juncture, it’s important to engage family and friends to assist with financial support to consult with an attorney regarding options for the abused spouse.

Remarkably, these individuals don’t see themselves as victims of abuse. Common vernacular suggests that abuse takes the form of physical or sexual abuse, but these individuals have no scars or bruises that might trigger the awareness of abuse. It’s the bruise that doesn’t show.

According to www.focusonthefamily.com, “Emotional abuse is any non-physical behavior or attitude that controls, intimidates, subjugates, demeans, punishes or isolates another person by using degradation, humiliation or fear.” A spouse can kill their partner’s spirit without raising a hand or voice. It can take the form of looks or glares of disapproval, humiliating the partner privately or in the presence of others, name calling, making them feel guilty and perhaps, making them feel like they’re crazy. The abuser might use jealousy to justify their actions.

A lot of people seeking divorce don’t know the nature or extent of their assets. Don’t let this lack of information be a deterrent in removing yourself from an abusive marriage. An experienced family law attorney can assist in obtaining this information. Refer to the November 2014 article in absolutely! Memorial Magazine on page 51 or at issuu.com/absolutelymemorial/docs/memorial-november-2014 for additional advice regarding finding assets.

“When the fog momentarily lifted, the abused refused to view themselves or the abuser the same way again – determined to move towards seeking the help they needed.”