“The Narcissist” – the (not so Good) the Bad, and the Ugly
A lot of marriages fail due to one of the spouses being a narcissist.
A narcissistic personality disorder has been described as a mental condition in which people have an exaggerated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, a lack of empathy for others and troubled relationships. A narcissist can have problems in many areas their lives - relationships, work, financial affairs, school.
If you peel back the layers of a narcissist’s psyche, you would find a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism. They are extremely unhappy when not given the admiration they believe they deserve or are caught in a “bad act,” and respond with rage, contempt, physical abuse directed to their partner and/or passive-aggressive behavior (denying a partner natural emotional/physical needs).
It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with a narcissist because of course “it’s all about them!” It’s common that a narcissist’s sense of self causes them to lie and over time their life becomes a lie. The layers of lies create a fragile core that in their minds justifies their “stories.” Lies, partial truths, misleading statements and omission are all forms of deception a narcissist employs. When a narcissist is caught in a lie there is no real remorse, reflection or guilty conscience. To the contrary, they attempt to make their partner think the partner is at fault for the lie. Their excuses are contorted – reflecting a distorted sense of reality. There is a strong link between narcissism and addiction, (alcohol, drugs, pornography) in part due to the shame/anger they feel.
Narcissists are likely not to seek counseling. Their partner needs counseling to navigate through or out of the relationship.
If this resonates with you, get good therapeutic help with a counselor experienced with narcissism or if your marriage is beyond help search for an experienced family law attorney familiar with narcissism.
“-that special pain you experience that comes
from when you watch someone you love turn into someone you don’t recognize”
Author Unknown