Marriage, Alcoholics & Divorce
Alcohol remains the number 1 drug problem in the United States. It is a big problem in marriages that end in divorce.
Facts about an alcoholic –
Lies - they have refined lying to an art form. They rationalize/justify their actions to the point that they convince themselves that a lie is truth. This happens subconsciously.
True lies - they use verbal cues that mask their lies in a way that suggests sincere intent, such as “I’d like to, maybe, probably, possibly, should, could.” These words suggest sincere intentions when there are none.
Self-pity - they wallow in self-pity and determine that they are a victim of their world.
Demanding - they demand more from the world and expect less from themselves.
Entitled - they have a sense of entitlement, reasoning that the world owes them because of their demanding/stressful life and are thus entitled to act in a selfish/immature fashion.
Manipulators - they are excellent at manipulating; they will provoke/mock you to instigate a fight, but have you convinced in the end that you’re at fault.
No accountability - they show little or no accountability.
Distortion - over time, alcoholism distorts every line and impacts every interaction, every relationship and every part of their world.
Not my fault! - over time, they believe everything bad in their life is someone else’s fault; if they are not successful in their job it’s because their boss undermines them; if their marriage is failing, their spouse is the problem, because of course they couldn’t be the problem!; if their relationship with their children is not good, they will see their children as unappreciative.
Forced to drink - they believe they are forced to drink because everything/everyone in their lives has become a reason to drink.
The disease of alcoholism is stealth and it steadily swirls everything away from a person, like a toilet flushes waste, while the alcoholic is virtually clueless as to the role they played in the destruction.
“As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them.” - Robin Williams, Weapon of Self-Destruction